both/and. labels releasing.

“are you holding onto something you want to let go of?”

shaking arms, face hitting the stearing wheel

I slid away from you on the bed, trembling

Shaking, spasm

check,check,check, checking email

“are you letting go of something you want to hold on to?”

Yes! I’ll keep you cozy through my shoulder for a while

(Is that you in my shoulder?!)

Just behind my eyes, or nesting in my tongue,

your sweater, mangled in the lost and found, rests on my bed

Separation Occurs Naturally. Shake it up! (4x)

Separation Occurs Naturally. Swirl gently. (3x)

Separation Occurs Naturally. Shake Gently.

Separation Occurs Naturally. Stir and enjoy.

That same lady keeps talking, all class long

blah blah blah,

"what I am wondering is...."

tight finger, pushing out in my chest

"I felt..."

Shut up!

we giggled, shook our heads, and said,

"no way, no way"

Fuck this

(For my sister)

There is boldness is there

slipping through the cracks

the space between the lung and heart

or is it underneath the liver, and out the arm

you kicked the boy down the street

shaking in the hall

"that's not acceptable"

fuck that

more than acceptable

I'm shrinking in this room

my toes are pushing through

your head made this chip in my tooth!

Storming down the block

unfolding, we grow on

when another 'you' finds it way into my poetry i will dance in celebration

"How are you?"

penetrating through

crashing all around, i look to the right

he's tracking me

"can't you tell im avoiding myself? i dont know"

said through pulled lips, frozen smiles

my glial cells must sing your name

picking them out

there, embedded and supported

or maybe you live in the synapse

myelinate these thoughts

reprieve in breath

head to tail, then tail to head

until then I rest in the stillness between

places of no

A place of no

Places of no, stacking in a wobbly pile

Balancing forks at a restaurant table

No comes before yes

I want to say yes to you now

As my no’s come falling, the space between us echos

This yes has your name on it

I knew it was there

The stacking was out of my hands,

It came through a lineage lined in deep red

With lots of empty places

I sit with my blood, rushing through those places

The back of my throat touches my brain stem,

The yes must be breathing

my room

“Write a poem on me”

A light touch with my pointer, close to his clavicle

Tracing lines of face

Pulling flesh over ribs

Rhythms emerge

I was boring, yet could write a new song

Numbers Mean More To You

It’s been 29 days since we’ve touched

4 days ago I emailed you, waiting

1.802.25 days since our first conversation

you’ve been drifting through me for thousands of days, now

I had an umbrella in my hand, but was embarrassed to use it

Was it 1767.25 or 1769.25 days since we first woke up next to each other?

You could figure it out, if I asked

You’ve been waking me up for thousands of days, now

I don't know when you fly back into town, waiting

In sign language waiting is just right

I wonder if in 1,802.25 days from now, I’ll long for you

Life’s longing for itself (Rumi)

Parking Through- 12 minutes

Parked cars fill the road

I need to get through

I am ready to move through

How did I end up with so many cars?

I need to get through

I am ready to move through

i have to move them

I need to get though

I am ready to get through

Fucking Berkeley, I don’t want to turn left

I need to get through

I am ready to get through

Starting with ‘and’, ending with ‘then’

…and

In the meantime,

Wire wrapped teeth falling out

I’m so bored of this song

Please, new!

Scratching at the door to get out

Out of….self, repetition, country

I was young, “all my poems will start with and!

There is always something right before”

A continual ‘and’, streaming from conception

Pinching shoulder, furrowing brow

Then….

Still the same tune

Our narrow and fertile pathways of kissing,

Lingering, like my grasping

Thumb pulls up in twitch

I wasn’t hoping for you when my phone beeped

I know your hiding in there

I spun her around in the sand,

Singing “la, la, laaaa, la, la, laaa”

She gave nervous glances to the outsider

“la, la, laa, la, la, laa”

until the singing was a lie, but the song went on

“la, la, laa, la, la, laa”

stuck in the sweetest song that would come

i let her fall and felt myself sink into my back

I’ll take him in, we could use a hand here

I am upright in his presence

She doesn’t feel like singing, so the quiet holds us

google findings

I type in a word on google....poetry appears in the form of recommendations

"Making"

home affortable

love

out

learning fun

math real

work pay credit

waves

waves academy

money online

baby food

"wanting"

you quotes

love quotes

memories

someone quotes

i'm longing to speak my own words

to be moved in to speaking

to love, so it pours out my mouth

to remember through breathing

bliping all the same

They are sharing a pair of leg warmers

tagged in….

Sink, sink, sink

Click, click, click- news?

15 yr old, deported

I miss the smell of your nose

Rep. canidate says birth control in nation is “just fine.”

No new email. Click, click, click

I might just be able to avoid myself completely

You may be avoiding the hummm of the refrigerator, im not

At least I hear it between the clicks, or a pause in the conversation

A bit of breath slips in the gripping of my back

Curved to the right, staring at the screen

An upwelling shushed and lulled into frozen slush

getting to the bottom

Well, okay

I do laugh, like water spilling from under a lid

Do I have fun?

fun: noun 1. enjoyment amusement, or light-hearted pleasure

2. Playful behavior or good humor

3. a behavior or activity that is intended purely for amusement and should not be interpreted as having serious or malicious purposes

mmm, yes light hearted pleasure.

Well, wait maybe not.

light hearted, metaphorically or literally?…it’s not exactly light either way.

Mill, mill, mill, and then a sharp intake of air

some clarification needed here….

Playful adj. 1. Good natured and humorous

Serious adj. 1. Solemn or thoughtful in character or manner,

2. Demanding careful consideration or application

ok- yes- here it is.

Dreadfully thoughtful

I carefully consider if this could be funny.

Probability fair, depending on reader: identity, mood, etc.

the moments that make me

I cried

For the baby I never was

“no one wants to hear me cry”

thumb sucking, lives in my mouth

lines in my cheeks, evidence of my vulnerability

cells float toward my back to meet the bed

the retreating that lives in belly and chest is resting with me

only bits and pieces come

What does he represent to you?

I’m driving, what?

Almost throwing up kind of crying

Kissing in the rain

Missing, mostly missing

Grabbing and pulling, please grab me

I saw you, straight through your pupil

Into the darkness of your body

Swam in your structureless and sprawling self

Please grab me

Inching backward to find your belly

yielding to fit

A hand in dough, to layers of earth

Holding

But then the, the

Don’t touch me

For weeks I’ve searched for you in dreams

Maybe tonight I’ll find you

i see myself seeing

It is so. My skin separates me.
Sometimes more like a comma, a gentle pause
These days it must be a period.
Or a whole different book

A little red sail boat, floating merrily on my chest
In the space between the neurotransmitters and my dream
Merrily, merrily, merrily
If I disappeared where would it float?

skin of my nose and cheeks, eyelashes

on the edges of the dance floor

shoulder,ribs,pelvic floor,standing

still

Here We ar...No...Here I am

I remember this

A bird might nestle in this hole, behind my clavicle

Last year, and the year before that and that

You once fit in my nest

It’s so familiar

The rustling in my cells

Not next year, or after

Sinking in these family paths

Rust covered pipes and all

Slap, I’m alone

Gasp, I end at my skin