Oh, T.,

I'm sorry I'm not surprised. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you were responsible for my desires and feelings. I'm sorry that I wish I had an explanation that was more specific. I suppose that this is as specific a one as I'm likely to get.

I'm sorry that you're a hot mess and I wish there were something I could do to help you out of it (or into it more comfortably). I wish to be implicated in your destruction (but of course that's your decision, not mine). I'm sorry I wish it. I wish I didn't wish what I do, and I wish I didn't apologize so often. I'm sorry.

All siblings are lovers, anyway, and all lovers siblings. I'm sorry this message.