MUST BE

Must be all that staying inside all that coffee all that drinking. Must be how there is not enough space, rooms, not enough air. Not enough loneliness. Must be how there is too much loneliness. Too much remembering the same memories, over and over and over again. What about the rest? Things have happened, this we know. We met and became each other. We dressed in each other drag. We were dragging each other around, bleeding each other like we had been hunting each other, had finally caught up to one another. We were, for real, hunting each other. We were out of poison darts and candy hearts and other types of bait and so. And so we just went for it. First, we learned about the gear. Scoped out the selection and saved up our savings and counted out the pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters mingling beneath. We kept track. Took trips and tracked the trips. Compared packaging, pricing. Outgrew our purchases and felt dumb. Must be how we waited, speculated, were impulsive with our caution. Must be how the sales were never on the days we felt like buying.