assurance

i awake like any other day
immediately alert
get breakfast ready
set clothes out
take my meds
get dressed
serve breakfast
get them dressed
clean our faces
brush our teeth
put on our coats
head out the door

the quiet moments heading back
i breath, i weigh my life
where am i now
and where do i wanna be
my body is ailing
my soul is weak
but i press on
i have children who need me

they need me
and i need her
but where is she
they ask me to
where is mommy
when is mommy coming back
can mommy lay down with me

i have no answers for them or me
so i say what my mouth has grown accustomed to saying
mommy is at work
mommy loves you very much
and i wonder if im only telling them
or if im the one who needs those answers too