The caterpillars women are wearing
in their hair this year:
fuzzy, spotted, and live, like good bait.
Fishing - that's the idea anyway, isn't it?
Here a man, there a man,
catch one if you can?
The wigs that men are buying
made from real otter fur
take authenticity too far.
It's not only murder, waterproof
and warm in winter,
it's cowardly, damning,
and slippery against the scalp.
The leopard skin weight loss leggings
I saw them first at the gift shop
of the Museum of Modern Warfare.
Now it's nonstop.
All the flight attendants wear them on the job,
the popularity of jogging is plummeting.
Some people will try anything.
All the real mollusk jewelry
smells like the sea, but
I heard this one guy
got his tongue pierced with a gastropod.
First it's the runaway kids
then it's the prep-schoolers,
next thing you know there's another
endangered species warning.
To sport a heavily sedated fruit bat
in your breast pocket you have to have
no conscience. That's somebody's child
you're keeping comatose
for style. The fleshy flap of wing
slumped over your heart
the small fingers at the end of it
dangling, adrift.
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